Chasing Wellness

Two words:  Coffee enemas. Let me explain. I was late. I walked into a room full of people leaning forward, listening intently to a speaker. I took a seat. The speaker was an attractive older woman and she was talking about coffee enemas. I looked up, trying to confirm what I heard was what I heard (did she say coffee enemas?). Many in the audience were nodding in agreement. So it's a thing, I thought to myself. She did say coffee enemas, and people do it.  

The presentation was part of an integrated health cancer conference in San Diego, where all kinds of roads to wellness were being highlighted. The weekend long event offered a mountain of information about alternative health treatments, and some incredible stories of beating cancer without filling Big Pharma coffers (mainly, no chemo or radiation).  

But entering the Expo Hall of vendors hawking gadgets and gizmos with miraculous cancer curing promises made me wonder which vendors were selling Snake Oil and which ones were the real deal. Seriously, that tube necklace (photo above) is going to kill my cancer? Yet there are amazing stories of recovery from debilitating and deadly illnesses involving all sorts of odd equipment and curious treatment combinations, so I browsed and considered the products and devices, however wacky, with an open mind.

While sitting inside a portable sauna that claims to boost metabolism, remove toxins, and reverse the aging process,

I was trying to take it seriously but Lucy and Ethel popped into my mind... 

... the "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy sits in a sweat box for an entire afternoon, determined to lose weight so she can be in Desi's nightclub dance act that night. When I got out of the sauna after four minutes or so, I didn't lose any weight or feel like doing the Rumba, but I can report that it was steamy.  

Anything having to do with medical marijuana was a big draw. From powders to oils, participants, including myself, were interested to hear about the latest studies. 

Constance Finley presented about her CBD oil, which she calls "Constance Pure Botanical Extracts." It began as an effort to heal herself from an autoimmune disease when conventional medicine almost killed her. She says her cannabis extracts have had astounding results saving lives and are currently involved in several studies. "Pure" is the keyword for her oils. Her extracts are not processed from byproduct often found in non-medical cannabis products, and she doesn't use butane or other illegal processes in the oil extractions. She only supplies her product to patients, and says her product can also help ill dogs. More information about Constance Pure Botanical Extracts can be found at www.cbdfarm.org.

Total Thermal Imaging was another popular vendor. Radiation free full body thermography claims to be a cutting edge technology for early disease detection, including periodontal infections often missed by x-rays. 

According to their literature, the FDA approved thermography back in 1982 as an effective adjunct to breast cancer screening. I'll put that on the list of things my conventional doctor never mentioned or recommended. More info at www.totalthermalimaging.com.

I tried the Porter Vision Mind Fit headset that is supposed to reduce stress by using light and sound therapy. 

The rep explained the device delivers gentle pulses of light through special glasses and the lights synchronize with tones known as binaural beats to produce deep relaxation. Unfortunately, all I could hear was the sound of the people and vendors having a grand time in the Expo Hall. My husband, on the other hand, put a headset on and practically fell asleep. 

It never occurred to me that you can have your own personal Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber.

As for why, the therapy is said to enhance the body's natural healing process by inhalation of 100% oxygen where atmospheric pressure is increased and controlled. Sweet, but does my insurance cover it? 

Most memorable quote from the conference was from Elaine Gibson, of "Renewed Living":  

“Your bowel movements are your report card.” 

Which brings me back to coffee enemas. Some people swear by them! I'm going to be on the sidelines with this one, at least for now. I like coffee first thing in the morning, but not from the back end.

For why and how about coffee enemas, go to http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7065/10-reasons-why-you-should-try-a-coffee-enema.html.

Getting Wiggy

This morning my B started complaining about losing his hair - which he isn't, or anyway it's not obvious like my sad, balding head - and I told him, hey, you can borrow one of my wigs.

The thing about going bald is, it’s kind of shocking no matter how prepared you are for the shedding. I scare myself these days when I catch an unintentional glimpse of my balding head. 

Who is that odd, alien, bird-like creature staring back at me?! The time has come to wear a wig.

Maybe I'll take a lesson from Andy Warhol. No one wore wigs better than him. Sure there have been others since him, but he was the first to boldly go where no one else dared: Obvious Fake Wigdom.  

What began as an effort to hide his early male pattern baldness became his trademark persona. Warhol just wasn't Warhol without his iconic wigs.The more fake they looked, the better. So if he had to re-adjust his wig in public, no biggie. We were all in on it. There was absolutely no pretension that his hairpieces were real. 

I could go the Andy Warhol route...

... but I'm not looking for a trademark look. Mostly, I just want to blend in and not scare myself or others. But I do like the idea of not worrying about a natural look. Maybe I should skip the ordinary and adopt Japanese Harajuki style...

... except I’m not 15 years old. 

I've never been a blonde. Maybe now's my opportunity to find out if blondes really do have more fun. 

So I gave it a test. I wore a blonde wig to a basketball game. Truth be told, I had fun, but did I have more fun?

I know I shouldn't be stressing about wigs. I need to concentrate on what's important (is the chemo working?).  Just get a wig already and be done with it! 

As it turned out, while I was procrastinating and putting off The Wig Situation, my dad called out of the blue. He offered to take me wig shopping, which we did, and it was probably one of the weirdest and more memorable things we ever did together.

So I got a wig. I got two. 

I was joking when I offered my B one of my wigs, but he let me put one on him and he looked, well, for a few minutes my B was my very own brunette Warhol.